Limit Not Met

Limits. Our worst enemy.

We give ourselves limitations that we don’t even realize we do it.

I’m not talking about all the restrictions our parents gave us growing up, which if you’re still holding onto those you should probably grow up. Go eat ice cream for dinner or stay up passed 9 to watch your TV show.

This is a little deeper.

Self doubt has led us to believe that we are only capable of doing so much in our lives.

“Well I’ve never sang in front of a crowd, so I can’t.”

“I’ve never eaten this type of food so I’ll probably hate it.”

Wrong. Do all of the things you want to do.

Limitations should be thrown out the window. Let’s be brutally honest right here: the only thought that should ever go through your mind when deciding if something is right or wrong for you to do is “will this kill me or be harmful to my mental health?”. Example: don’t jump off a building without safety precautions or eat something you’re allergic to or poisonous. You will die and that’s not what the aim is here.

We are our own worst enemies when it comes to our mindsets.

Think about it. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t? What is your reasoning for not following through? Is it because you’ve told yourself you would fail? Or has someone else told you that you’d fail and instead of realizing how ridiculous that thought is you held onto it and turned it into your own thought?

Take a look at yourself in the mirror, remind yourself that you’re an amazing individual and are capable of magical things. Might take a few tries, but your negativity will eventually turn positive.

Go out and make memories. These experiences are beautiful.

Screw your negative inner monologue. Go climb your own mountains.

Scar Tissue

Open wounds hurt. They sting. They bleed. After a given time, they just stop though. Sometimes we bandage them up to help them heal faster, other times we let them breathe and hang out for the world to see what happened.

This can also be said for our emotional wounds. Whether it be a broken heart, the loss of a loved one, or even a rough time we’re going through, everyone handles their pain differently.

We drown ourselves in alcohol, therapy sessions, sad retail shopping, or the love of everyone around us; those are our bandages. And that is okay. Not everything can heal on its own.

Other times, we hold it in and suffer in silence. Which can be okay, too. Sometimes toxic, though.

Pain is only a temporary state of existence. Yes, time can heal all wounds, but time needs to have help and the patience for it to do it’s job.

The greatest part about flesh wound is, after they’ve stopped bleeding, stopped hurting, had their time to heal, they leave behind scars to remind us of a period in time. They remind us of where we’ve been.

Remember that time you were walking your friends dog and he got too excited and knocked you over?

Remember that time you were working, not fully paying attention, and knocked a pile of boxes on top of you?

Remember when you got in the middle of a dog fight?

Remember when you were playing your favorite sport, tore a ligament and had to have surgery?

When you were longboarding and ate shit on a hill?

Or the time you went camping and caught a burning marshmallow on your arm?

These are all points in your life leading up to your now. They’ve all helped to mold you into who you are in some way or another.

Some of these memories may still burn when you see the scar that came from it, but the best part about them?

Scar tissue fades, too.

Change Of Plans

Five years ago, I decided to give up the pursuit of relationships. Yes, I dated here and there, but overall I chose to focus on me. I learned to love myself. Work became my main priority. Basically, I became that bad-ass independent woman every woman out there strives to be. To be completely honest, I’m pretty sure the only reason I even dated was to get laid more often.

A little over a year ago, I felt fulfilled in my single adventure. When I moved back home, I met a guy and things went….well they went okay for a little while. When we split up, I realized how much of myself I had lost in that relationship trying to get back out there. That realization made me rethink everything. I put my big girl panties back on and just deal with myself.

My ex, a different one from many years ago, moved back into town, and I heavily considered settling down and throwing in the towel so I could go back to focusing on work.

This story comes with a point.

About a month into “dating” (if you could honestly call it that) the ex, I met someone. Someone that totally swept me off my feet, leaves me breathless just thinking about him, and makes my insides turn mushy and tumble out in a wave of giggles.

Obviously, I had to let the ex go.

Meeting someone that you have an instant connection with is a rare occurrence that usually only happens in movies, or once upon a time with our great grandparents. Letting that slip passed would have been the worst fairytale ending.

Moral here: sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Things can fall into place when you turn a corner.

This is more of a To Be Continued..

Motivation Resolution 

It’s that time of year again when everyone is pumped to start their year off right. We all hit the ground running telling ourselves that it’s going to be our year; this is the one that is going to change our lives.

After X amount of time, however, we hit a snag and let that completely derail the rest of our year and by the end of the line, we’re over it and wanting the next year to start so we can give it another try.

Every day is a new day. Every moment counts. The highs are beautiful, the lows are dreary.

Through every storm comes a rainbow.

Don’t let a setback define your life; hurdle through it. We make our moments count, positive or negative. Every negative can lead to a positive. 

Be the positivity you seek in your daily life. 

This may be the beginning of 2018, but every day can be the beginning of whatever adventure you wish to seek. 

Carpe diem. 

Happy New Year, everyone. 

A Story About Myself

Sometimes, I forget.

I forget the beauty in the moment of people caring for other people.

I forget people need the comfort of other people.

I’ve mainly done things by myself, even when I’ve been surrounded by people.

Loneliness has not always been an option for me; sometimes it was forced on me.

But I chose to make the most out of it.

There’s beauty to be found in the silence.

I keep a small, tight, loving, circle of friends.

For a long time, though, I didn’t feel rooted to home.

A home without roots isn’t a home.

When the opportunity to fly was handed to me, I took it and ran.

I ran 5 hours away from home.

I cried the morning I left for the first 3 hour drive.

I made a home in those 5 hours away, though.

There were people that took me in as their own; whose love knew no bounds.

They filled me with love and kindness.

But no matter how wanted I felt, the roots didn’t sprout there.

So I moved 3 hours away.

I knew going into this move that it would be hard, that it wouldn’t last.

There was a feeling going into it, but I tried to avoid it.

I met so many more wonderful people there.

People with history.

People that made me feel something magical.

Finding magic in a strange place is glorious.

When things got suffocating, I made a choice.

I decided to move 8 hours back home.

This was the 2nd time I had cried.

I felt my adventure was over.

I thought I had given up on all my dreams.

I set out to find new ones.

Then I met a boy.

He made me feel things, too.

And then things got toxic.

I lost him.

It helped me see I had fully lost the me I had built in the previous 4 years.

I reconnected with an old friend.

His energy and drive helped me get my spark back.

I found my roots in my self.

I am my own home.

Everyday’s an adventure.

People need other people.

But people need themselves, too.

If life had never happened to me, I never would be here to tell stories.

Even if the adventure went full circle.

It doesn’t matter where you start or where you end.

As long as you have some sort of support system, and if that support system includes yourself, you’re exactly where you need to be.

For Those Struggling Through The Holidays

We’re in the short stretch to the Holidays, and to everyone currently struggling, whether it be financially or emotionally, know that you aren’t alone.

These are hard times: the dollar doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. You want to be able to get your mother everything she desires. You want to be able to get your kid that way overpriced toy they’ve had their eye on. Don’t stress.

Your mom will be happy you showed up to that Christmas party, no matter how hungover you are.

Your child will get over that inevitable tantrum they are going to throw, and eventually, will forgive you.

This is a time of love and family, not monetary value.

Spending the holidays alone?

Go buy yourself a new fancy outfit.

Get dressed up.

Pour yourself a drink.

Pop in a sappy Christmas movie.

Cry your eyes out.

By the time the movie is over, you’ll find your strength. Smile. These moments are fleeting. You are strong and you will get through this.

You may be by yourself this year, but next you could be surrounded by people and wish you weren’t. You’ll regret not taking this time for yourself.

You might feel like you’re drowning right now, but the surface is near. You will get your head above water soon.

The future is bright, specially with you in it.

Being Single Is Hard

Recently, it’s come to my attention just how single I am. I enjoy doing things alone. There’s never a reason for myself to ask permission to do things. If I need an opinion on something, there’s a few friends I am able to text or call and find out what they think. And it’s honestly one of the greatest feelings ever.

I’ve spent much of my adult life single. If I had been connected to someone, there’s very little chance that I would have been able to move around as much as I did (which, in retrospect, wasn’t a lot, however, there was only myself to move and no resistance from someone else not wanting to be uprooted).

On the other end of the spectrum, 80% of my teenage years were spent pining after guys that barely even acknowledged my existence. Why? Why is some knuckle head hoping that her prince charming is some kid, sleeping his way through school and crossing his fingers that he’ll graduate?

It’s instilled upon us at a young age that in order for humanity to survive, we need to find our soul mate. That’s not the case. Be your own fucking soul mate. Be your own prince, or princess, I’m not one to judge.

“Oh no, another feminist rant about it being okay to die alone and own 7,000,000 cats.”

Nope. Go out and be happy.

I, myself, thrive on attention. I absolutely love it. The grocery store near my house acts as a  truck driver bus station, whenever I go there, I always make sure to park near it in order to walk by the truckers and just get a “Hey girl, how you doing?”.

I’m barely 5 feet tall, I can’t reach the top shelf of anything to save my life. Having a tall partner is fantastic in that scenario.

Let’s be real and cover the other topic that came to your mind: sex. Sex toys are also awesome. All those feel good chemicals get released and YOU DID THAT TO YOURSELF. Gold star to you!  One night stands are great, I highly encourage them. A few of my greatest stories are about my one-nighters. But with those, you have to be so careful. Is this person going to give me some rare, untreatable std? Possibly. Could this person be a serial killer and I’m his next victim? Good chance. We need that physical contact sometimes, though, so hell yeah I’m gonna take that chance.

The moral of the story is that you’re not alone in your mixed emotions on being single. Don’t let yourself settle. Do your thing until someone can fit into your life without making you change anything. Be happy with who you are. Make yourself proud. Your mother might be nagging that you’ll never be happy unless your hitched, but chances are good that you’ll be miserable if you just get swept away by the first person that wants to put a ring on it. The main cause of divorce is marriage.

Without a doubt, you can shine just as bright standing next to someone as you could standing alone in a battle field. And you need to do that. Fight for yourself, who else is going to?